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Posted by on 2020/10/16 under Life

everyday I wake up and don't want to leave my bed I have a sickness in my stomach in just the thought of having to go to school and put on a game smile it's killing me slowly I come home everyday depressed and feel as if I want to self hall in the end I do sometimes it hurts but it helps I want to talk to someone but I do not feel comfortable for me or the person I'm talking to I feel invisible which isn't necessarily a bad thing because I prefer to be alone and have time to myself and talk to myself but sometimes being alone is worse than not talking to someone the only person I trust to talk to is myself and I don't know how I could change that I have major trust issues but I just leave them I have anxiety and panic attacks a lot but I just dismiss them I act as if I'm okay to fool others and sometimes myself feeling nothing is worse than feeling how I do

One thought on “My life

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey! This is not going to be a cheer up comment. I just want to tell you that I relate to you to some extent. Because of Covid the need to physically meet people is now gone but online classes have taken their place. You know, I’ve been isolated for a long time in my life. It’s not like I don’t have friends irl, I do very few and they amazing but you know, we don’t really meet now. I feel really really really lonely because I know even if I meet people I can’t enjoy myself because of my anxiety. I want to live fearlessly and meet people and enjoy without overthinking every s*** and comparing myself non-stop and being a lazybones. But uk it’s not easy. I’ve tried so many times but I always fail. I think if I open up all my head to the few people who said they’ll be there and they have been I am scared to be too dependent on them. I am scared and anxious for being me. For just loving isolation yet feeling the helplessness of not being someone that I am supposed to be. I’m sorry if I made you more depressed. That was not my intention. Perhaps after reading your message even I felt the need to burst out. I hope good things will come to your way friend! Wishing you all the love!

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