I have read few of the articles here and i am really amazed how beautifully people express their thoughts. Sorry i will not be able to write perfectly. I really need someone to listen to the ocean inside me. I am really a mess i need my life to be dorted its like i am seeing my own destruction and i am just helpless and not able to stop it.
I know i am the only one to be blamed for all but i just dont want to accept it.. I always run away from my problems i just totally left it to god. And in the end i blame god for everything and anything. I am turned to an atheist now. I just feel heartbroken and depressed and the worst part is i have noone to get help from and the fact that i want to get back to good days but still i have no help.
When i used to believe in god i had a hope that he is always there to help me he will find a way for me.. But when he also stopped i literally felt the pain inside me the emotional pain
I am shattered i have been ignored all my life my family friends everybody just dont bother about me.
I dont even know what i need right now.
I just want to quit.
I am literally done now.