Good evening,
I'm so irritated. Why me? Why can't I get the steps? I show up to practice. What makes me different from everyone else? Why am I so afraid to perform in front of people? Why do people scare me? Why am I so tense? Why can't I stop thinking? Why am I so focused on everyone else? Why can't I zone in? Why am I like this? I don't understand why I am this way. What happened to me as a child? If you ask me I had a pretty good childhood considering the circumstances. But why am I this way? Why do I care so much about others opinions? Why am I so hard on myself? Why can't I just turn my thoughts off? I feel trapped in this body. I want to do so many things, but I'm always hindered because I care too much about others thoughts about me. I can't live this way anymore. It's driving me insane. I want to relax. I want to be comfortable. I want to not care what others think of me. I want to be free. I want to laugh with no worries. I want to smile because I am truly happy. Is that too much to ask for? I don't understand anything!! I hate not understanding something. It drives me insane. Why? Idk. I just don't like feeling lost. I don't like people staring at me. I don't like giving up. I hate feeling helpless! I hate that all I do is overthink everything! It can be an advantage but also a huge disadvantage!