To my Wife…
Why did you hit me? Why did you scream at me? You've left me with an empty soul, an empty bed, and a broken heart. Never laid a hand on you, always reminded you how much I love you every day. Why didn't you leave when you stopped loving me? Did you feel I needed more punishment? So many questions you'll never answer. 3 children who love us dearly, now choose sides. I've stood by you thru every up and down you've had, yet when my best friend dies in a fatal crash this year you wouldn't even help me grieve.
As I lay here and look around I wait for you to walk in the door and tell me you love me too and missed me. But night after night nothing. I'm 37 now, I've given you my best years and I fear there will be nothing left beyond this. Everyone says I'll be better and j don't deserve this. But this past year you'veade it clear I am worthless,lazy, fat, loser, and a sorry father.
All I ever wanted to be was someone you could count on to lift you up when you were down. So why when I needed lifting up, you kicked me down? Belittled me?
I will never be thean you married because you killed him. Distrust, accusations, and convinced by your self delusion that I'm a horrible person set out to destroy you.
You've walked away when I need you the most, I wish you could see what you are doing to me inside. No one will want me now, not you or anyone new. You've won. If not for my faith I'd already have attempted death.
I miss the wife I knew, not the one who you've become.
But since she is never coming back, I must press on for the benefit of the kids. Not worried about myself. Haven't been since the first one came to us.
Why me??? What made you turn on me?? Why dId you stay hid in the bed away from me and not tell me what was wrong?
My last question….. Why did you take the best part of me(my personality and soul) and break me to the point of never being the same again?
I'll always care for you, but I don't have a heart left anymore to give anyone.
Goodbye Jess. I hope the wind in your sails carries you to the dreams I couldnot help you reach……….. Forever Lost, Greg