I haven't been happy in a long time. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend of 6+ years is breaking up with me in a few months at the end of our lease… so, I'm preparing myself for that… I don't know how to be single — it's been so long… I've tried and tried and he's just so mean to me all the time and I don't deserve it.
I also have no motivation to work on things that I know I should in order to get a better job. I just feel like I'm not good enough and don't deserve and can't do anything better than what I have.
I feel like I complain to my friend's too often, but I do my best not to do it too much to each one individually. I just need someone to talk to all the time and it makes me feel weak.
If you've read this far, thank you. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I constantly think about just running away. But then I think about all the logistics and it's simply not possible for me at the moment. I don't know. F***.