my heart pains, cos i loved him too. the way he's leaving is making this all the more difficult to bear. like i have no feelings or that it's all fake, bc let me tell you how i memorized every corner of our imaginary apartment and now it's desolate, and perhaps i gotta build my own dreams before i jump right in like that. cos i wonder, what's the lesson here for me? to not repeat the mistakes of the past? or, to keep fighting till the death of him or me?