I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Nothing makes sense and I can’t understand why. It’s easy, but it’s hard, I can’t deal with the mixed emotions and signals. I don’t belong with my family, a stranger, and outsider, fits in better than me. She gets strait A’s, shes super smart and they get exited. I get straight A’s, I get asked ‘where’s your prof?’ At school, I only have one friend, but She’s not the type who you could spill everything to. Sometimes, I can’t breath and I wonder, If I die, would anyone care? I admit, I’ve considered suicide. But I’m too scared to do even that, I want my confusion and loneliness to end, but I not prepared to suffer the pain, felling my breath and heart beat slowly stop. It scares me to death, but I just don’t have anyone to turn to, they would never understand