Damn…I don’t even know what I’m doing here. Will anyone ever even read this? Does it matter? I found this place by chance, it seemed like a nice and safe place to just, say what I want without being judged. This is my first time doing anything like this, so here goes: I’m tired. Tired of everyone having high expectations of me. I have good grades in school, everyone around me tells me that I’m going places, that I’m going to do something good with my life. I smile at them and tell them thanks… I feel pressured and alone. Pressured because of everyone’s expectations. Alone because no one knows how i really feel. You know, my parents don’t say ‘I love you.’ I don’t either. The last time I heard those words was when my dad told me one night. I cried. More than anything, i just want someone to hold me, to hug me tight and let me cry, for someone to tell me that every thing is all right. i know that i have nothing to complain about my life, but i hate feeling like this. Alone and pressured. my grades lowered. i now have five b’s and one a. I failed all my semester tests except one. I can’t bear to tell my parents, they’ed be disappointed. but why do i care what they think? I don’t know. I know a lot of people say this but, they don’t know me. i was once crying right behind them in the car. They didn’t notice. Why? Am i that invisible? i know i can be quite, but why cant anybody notice how i feel? Why isn’t there anyone who can see through my fake smiles?! Why doesn’t any bother to try?! I want to stop caring for others, i want to stop being the responsible one, to have someone else take care of me instead of me having to do it. I want to leave and get away, but i’m afraid to stay too long. I feel better now. But know, more than ever, I wish there was someone, anyone, that i could count on. I think I’ll continue writing here, I could use a place to vent.