I don’t know what to do. I know that I am in love with her and I know have the strength to tell her but she is always just out of reach. Im loosing my mind, she is around but I can never find her. Its like a cruel joke being played on me. I finally see her after months and it felt like a punch in the stomach. And she approached me, asking how i was.
After months of blaming myself telling myself that a girl as great as her could never be with a guy like me, she shows up again in my life and acts like we hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks. But it was months and killed me, not seeing her or talking to her. To not see her gorgeous smile or her laugh.
I finally have the courage and strength to tell her how much she means to me, but she is never around to tell, even though were in the same building all day long.
I felt like an idiot talking to her she caught me off guard. seeing her after months being to shocked to even ask her how she was. I felt so stupid.
This pain I feel I would wish upon my worst enemies, the feeling of being out of your control having all this strength and nothing to do with it.
I have never felt this way about any girl and it feels like I’m chasing a ghost. Im there all day in and out, but I never see her.
maybe this hell on earth is my punishment, maybe Im not meant to be happy.
Im always in the wrong place in the wrong time, waiting and looking. Begging and praying for a chance to let you know how I feel. I just feel helpless like my own destiny is out of my hands.
I told myself for so long that i wasn’t good enough, that i wasn’t meant to be happy, but you didn’t cast me aside.
Im ok with you not sharing the feelings i have for you, but i have to tell you.