I don’t still love him but I still have feelings for him. And when I see him and he ignores me, I know it’s because I lied and he knows.. I wish he didn’t know. If only he hadn’t told his parents, cared so much.. but I just wanted the attention. I hate everything about myself and he loved me. Even though we’re young, I finally felt like I had a place. And now I’m sitting here just trying to build a friendship with him and wishing for him to take me back, but it isn’t going to happen. No of course not. I don’t get the happy ending. Never. Because I always f*** it up. With Frank, too. Not just Michael. I lied about my illness, by the way. I don’t have one. But everyone thinks I do. I just want to kill myself sometimes, I’m providing everyone with a way to just let me go without caring. And I know, blahblah, there’s so much to live for.. I just need to find it first. I need to find a way to be happy with myself and with the people around me and my friends.. Jeez I just need to make friends in general. I’m bombin at making acquaintances. And I asked to see a therapist but my mother is too embarrassed. I hate everything about myself.