i couldn’t find a place to write or to talk i can’t breath and i can’t even cry and i can’t talk to this to anyone i’m not good to talking to people and expressing my fellings like when i wanna cry i say tomorrow when i’m going to talk to my bf about this and when tomorrow comes i just forget everything and i do this like again and again and pain just keeps coming and here i am after all the doors were closed in my f****** face and i have no clue what i’m gonna do this and everytime i just say i’m happy and something show up and i fall apart and i again i say i should step up and make all this just stop but it seems like the whole thing is stronger than me and the weird thing that is driving me crazy it’s that this is not me i’m not pesimistic i’m not depressed or sad not at all i’m happy with my lifge my friends everything but i don’t know where this whole thing is coming from i mean i have amazing parents i get whatever i want but i don’t maybe it’s not enough maybe i need to be alone for a while and change some air so i guess this is it…