my house is chaotic, it always has been, but lately its just become unbearable. im 16 and i live with my parents, my 18 year old brother, whos off at college right now, my 23 year old sister and her 2 year old son, and my 26 years old brother and his 6 years old son. my house is crowded, noisy and i cant even get three seconds of peacefulness. and my parents are the kind that can never say no so the 23 has her boyfriend, and father of her child, over to eat dinner and the 26 year old has his two or three friends over constantly to eat. and although my parents fight with them, or at least try to, they always just give up. now ive been dealing with kids everyday since i was 11, more than any aunt should have to, and i have given up so much. but nobody even realizes this. and now it just feels like im slipping through the crack, like im just being forgotten and even though i should be the only child my parents are actually responsible for im turning out to be the only one they’re not. i know it sounds very simple or like i wanna be praised but i dont. i just wanna be SEEN. listened to everyone in a while because they really dont listen to me at all and they constantly admit it. i just want to feel like im just as important to them as their grand kids are and even though i know they do love me, they just dont show it at all and it just makes me feel so isolated and never good enough…
its not fun constantly coming in last; always feeling like your best isnt good enough.