I am being bullied. Definition of being bullied:physical. Not always, it’s gotten physical before. I don’t have any friends, my grades are horrible, girls are cutting themselves. After threatening to kill myself three times I was driven to a mental hospital. I go to a small private catholic school. Where are God’s children…? I don’t see any. I will never be “good enough” I am constantly torn down for what I am. I am the definition of imperfect. Apparently I’m a whore…I’ve never even dated…SINCE WHEN DO CATHOLIC MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HAVE SEX?!? I can’t take this anymore. It all started at the beginning of this school year, when some girl said I said something that I didn’t, when my best friend started to cut herself, when I tried to kill myself, when I got pinched for the first time, when I was called a whore for being “attractive.” (It’s been worse) one time, I tried to cut myself with the post of an earring…no pain was released. It didn’t help at all. Sometimes I’ll cry myself to sleep and ask myself what I did wrong. Some say I don’t nothing wrong, but I did, I did something very wrong. I was given a life and I chose to live it. I don’t deserve a life. I was raised to believe to never be someone that you’re not. And I have a hard time just being who I am and love being it. When I go to school I only get made fun. When boys talk about me, ” She’s not pretty enough.” But then I go home and my Mommy tells me how beautiful I am in every way, which gives me confidence, to believe. Not everything is about how you look, it’s mostly about the kind of person you are. Right now I sure do know a lot of girls who dress like 20 year olds and don’t care about anything else other than themselves. Which has made me look at the world that i live in, look at my life, and be happy with who I am and everything God has given to me. But I don’t want to live. I want to die. One day I’ll be dead and everyone else will win and be happy. FML