I feel like I am standing at the lowest end of a mountain and looking up at everyone that is already reaching the peak. They have all conqeured the mountain and already moving on to the next obstacles now, but there I am, still dragging on…
So… I met one of them today. I panicked. What would they say when they see me? Would they start asking questions? Like “Why are you still there? What are you doing now?” How am I going to answer? What am I going to say? I can’t stand all straight and force a smile. I can’t tell them with my usual look that I am still there. Still stranded there and even worse, I have gone down and back on the rough grounds.
Its like my last shred of dignity is gone if I tell them the truth. I can’t let them take it away from me can I? I can’t make myself lie to them as well. No paper can hold fire… Once the fire burnt through the filmsy paper, all truth would be out… And wouldn’t that be worse?