i can't believe he did that to me. i was a child. i was a f***ing child, i didn't know what i was saying, and he did that to me. does he know? how badly i cried? how horribly i realized then and there that i don't stand a goddamn chance? i hope he knows. i hope it f***ing haunts him. i hope he's never proud again. f*** off, "dad". f*** off.