I can't explain how desperately I want a boyfriend. I see the tiktoks, I see the instagram posts. I see people at school even. My friends tell me I'm pretty. I feel pretty sometimes. But clearly I'm not pretty enough. If I was really that pretty I'd have a boyfriend wouldn't I? Or maybe it's the fact that I literally am in love with some boy from another f***ing state. He lives 1,000 miles away. But he's really the only boy I think i've ever desperately liked as much as I do. I HATE THIS.