I cannot rationalise how I ended up in my situation.
My stepmother always wanted another child and my dad was never keen / perhaps not able to.
One summer she was very touchy with me , I was 19 and very sporty.
Things happened that summer both forbidden and taboo in nature , yet I have mixed emotions over the encounters , I felt a strong connection at times , making love to her was the best thing that ever happened to me whilst the lowest point in my life. I am no longer the good guy or person who thought they had good morals. I have a sister now and dad doesn’t know who the real father is.
I still have feelings for my stepmother and it’s messy and complicated.