Hi. I've never really told anyone this, ever, so consider yourself special.
My story isn't that exciting, in fact, it's barely even a story, but read if you want. I've been friends with this boy named, Lets say Friend A since 7th grade. We've known each other since kindergarten, but now we're sort of friends. It's complicated.
I'm going to try and explain this in the best way possible.
I liked Friend A, for the longest time. But I didn't realize I liked him. I thought we were friends, but what I didn't realize was that I liked him for the longest time. I texted him every day. I didn't realize his dry responses and leaving me on read meant he didn't like me. He dated 3 other girls that year. And told me all of his crushes and what was going on, because we were friends. Then at the end of the year, I realized. S***, I like him. And that was tough, because realizing that I liked him also made me realize he didn't like me back. And that was tough.
A new school year started and I decided that I was done. I was done chasing him, texting first, all of it. If he didn't like me, that was it. I'm not going for it. So I stopped. I stopped texting him. I stopped smiling at him in the hallway. And that helped for a while, but I still wasn't getting over him. I tried everything, I even pulled a Lara Jean and wrote a letter about all the bad things about him. But none of it worked. I had to completely reset, program myself to realize: He's not enough. He isn't really that nice, that cute. What do I see in him? He's annoying, rude. I'm stupid.
Thankfully, my saving grace came. Every year he went on a trip for 2 months, and that's exactly what I needed. He left and I could focus. I started to notice other guys. Like Jack, the tall athlete. Or Peyton in my gym class. They talked to me, they were nice to me, made jokes. More than Friend A had. I thought I had finally done it, I was done! I had gotten over him, all good.
Then, he came back. I wasn't expecting it either. He was just back. And…I tried not to think about it. I was better than before he left. I didn't look at him, I didn't talk to him as much. he talked to me a little. He even texted me first a few times. I had to stay away though. I tried not to think about him, which I did a few times, unfortunately. I don't know what to do! I'm trying to get over him, I really want to clear him from my mind.
Any suggestions on how to do this? Please help 🙁