Im. Sad. Thats the only way i can put it. Without slapping on silly medical terms that make me feel like some sort of mental patient. Im in pain. Physichal. Mental. All kinds of pain. Every time i finally think im close to happiness it gets thrown. In my face. All i want. All ive ever wanted was someone. Someone i can love and care about and adore and it just never seems to work out. I try and i try and i try and it never goes right. Im almost unlovable. Its almost like im diseased with some sort of love repellent. Every woman ilet into my life hurts me. I dont believe ive ever been truly loved by a girl. I do romantic gestures. Ive tried everything. But at the end of the day they just stop loving me. I want you to try and think about that. Someone can just stop. Caring about you. And its not like im some depressing peice of s*** guy that complains all the time. Im reluctant even writing this. And im not mean or anything. I treat someone i love like theyre a f***ing princess. They just dont seem to treat me half decent. All i want is to go to bed feeling loved. I want someone to let me rest my head on their lap and have them play woth my hair. Im 18 for gods sake. I should be out partying and trying to f*** every girl i see. But im not like that. I couldnt. I want feelings. Emotions. Thats what makes us humans. I want to be real. Not one of those fake feelings manequins out there who just hurt people. And im not ugly or anything. I know im somewhat attractive. Im just done. With everything. And i just want to take a long sleep. The kind you dont wake up from.