The thought of love..well, for me the word love has always been a title. a thing that coudlnt define a real persons connection for one another. something that could be easily fixed when losing that person. but when life hits you in the face, you realize its much harder than that. In the beginning of junior year, I met someone I had crushed on for a while. we started to talk and then things got more serious. when we started dating In the summer, we felt the need to text each other all the time. always wanted to hang out and always felt the need to compliment each other. the compliments were non stop. once school began we fought more. drama was born due to people who saw different things happening,so words got around. We broke up several times, and each time go harder and harder. yes I know, you would think since it was such a reoccurrence it would get easier but it wasn't. it started affecting my personality, I started to feel more alone, and I hurt myself in the process. this was a downward spiral that I couldn't find a way out of. I thought about him all the time, I wanted to text him all the time. basically, I just wanted him to see me like he did when we first met. we got back together and the fights were silly at that point. we mostly joked about it. then, out of the blue things started to get weird. he didn't really want to hang out as much. he began to distance himself, and told me he was going to hangout with his brother instead. we had plans and he ditched them. and for a while I was okay with it, I didn't think it was anything, but then I tried to confront him. he denied it all said he was doing nothing wrong and that I'm being crazy but I know I wasn't. I got satisfaction texting him in the mornings and at night, but he started to disappear. I think he thinks he's got me on a leash he can obtain forever. he thinks that because he's not talking for now, things will fall into place again because of our last breakups. now it just seems like a trap I cant get out of. I miss him like crazy when he doesn't speak or pay any attention. it hurt me today because he said his mom wanted me to go to cape cod and wanted to invite me but I don't think he wants to go with me. I don't know why he asked me in the first place tbh. I just wanna forget about him.