Disclaimer: I’m writing this as thoughts are coming into my head, incoherently.
I’m a 26 year old guy living in a foreign country for higher studies, far, far away from my own. I feel really lonely. I’ve never been with a girl, but would someday surely like to be with one. Please don’t judge me. I just want a friend, whom I can talk to, but I’m very shy and unattractive. Being good with studies, people I’m around, ask for my help. I, most of the time would help anyone with anything I can in hope that it might result in a social situation. But that is most commonly used avenue of socializing. Other than that, no one wants to hangout with me. I might be overstating it, maybe that is the way the world works. I don’t know what I really want. Maybe I wan’t someone to like me.
I don’t know how communicate with people, to get my thoughts across. I’m 26 for crying out loud!! I should know all of this by now. But sadly, I don’t. I never experienced to live life like a normal person. To be able to explain people about my opinions about anything. I’m not a man, I’ve become feeble and insecure about anything and everything. I had a crush on a girl for two years. Now she doesn’t live in the same city as mine. Recently I told her on facebook as a message that I liked her. She didn’t replied to it and in fact completely ignored it. And I, being the pussy that I am, thought that instead of at least ask her about her opinion, pretended that it never happened and even sent her a gift on her birthday. Talk about being chickens***. I don’t know how to stand up for my self. Every other night I cry myself to sleep because I feel lonely.
My social circle hardly consists of 5 people. Just recently, one of my friends left this country and went back home for good. Now I’m also leaving this country soon, moving someplace else for a job. I’ll be even more lonely there. It takes me a lot of time make friends with someone.
GOD, I’m a whining b****..