These past two weeks have been the hardest on me. First was the abortion, which tore me apart emotionally, then there was the prescription pills that dropped my serotonin, which left me in able to be happy. Then my tires popped, i ran out of money, and my boyfriend is saying all the things that I’m feeling bad about all at once. I’m working to live with no money coming in, my boyfriend not looking for a job, and best of all, we have to move in a month. I’m reaching my breaking point and all i want to do is throw everything on the ground and scream at the top of my lungs. I want to get in my car and just drive, go until I can’t anymore. I want to start cutting again, feeling the physical pain lift me away from the emotional so I can start feeling normal again.
I’m just tired, so tired of lifting up from the ground and telling myself that it’s just a little longer. I’m tired of people leaving me always eventually alone to deal with myself. I’m tired of lifting people out of the darkness and for them to drop me back in.
I’m just…. so tired and don’t know how long i can do it anymore…