Over the last few years I’ve became paranoid. About Everything . Hygiene, Injuries . . .Life . But mostly life. You see Im the type of person that just doesn’t know how to talk to people. Of Course I talk to my friends and tell them my problems . . But I feel like they wouldn’t understand. Strangely The People I have the most trouble talking to is my family . . I feel like they wouldn’t understand either . So I just end up talking to myself, Because who understands me more than me. But anyways Ive stayed up late at night talking to myself and telling myself my problems (AS if I didnt already know them),I seek answers but never get them. I told my mother about this and she referred me to the school counselor . . I Didn’t like her. “Why would I tell a complete stranger my problems” I thought . It was crazy to me.
I’ve Contemplated Suicide Over And Over again . I keep scissors in between my mattress, So just in case I Do decide. . . It’ll be quick. But I know I’ll never do it . . . I Don’t know who to believe in . I know that there’s a god and that he watches over me, but I don’t know how to or what to say to him . . I feel like he only grants blessings to those who deserve them . . That’s Good . . My Life is great I wouldn’t change it for the World, I love my whole family so much . . But I feel like something’s missing . . . Thank You . . Tiarra .