I just wish I knew what to do with myself for once in life, I mean I mess everything up. I want to eat sometimes but I can’t because I’m too fat and I don’t deserve anything to eat, I throw up what I do eat because I’m such a mess and I’m too ugly. I deserve every bit of pain and hurt that I get because I’m not good enough for anyone and no one will ever see that. I just wish I could be something beautiful for a day to see what it feels like because honestly? I’ve got no clue what life is doing to me anymore.