AHHHHH. Gah, I’m venting my spleen all up on this page because I’m fahreaking. I hate writing essays, it is the worst, tooth-pulling experience of my student life. Failing at school scares me. If I don’t do well in school, then I probably won’t get a real job, and if I don’t get a real job, I can’t move forward, and if I can’t move forward, the person I love will feel held back and I’ll have to let him flee fly goodbye, omg.
These past two months have been stupidly exhausting. Why did I sign myself up for a position when I’m not good at balancing in the first place. Doing that philanthropy event was the death of my schooling. I can’t believe I fostered a dog, too. How retards is that , the little monster evil biting machine a****** mutt. I love dogs, I dont like that one. However, my roomie is ridiculous for pushing to keep housing it. It would’ve been better to return him long ago with a household that actually had time for him instead of us silly university girls.
Also my grammie’s dying, which is supposed to be a hard hard thing. I don’t know if I numb or indifferent, but I can’t make the connection. I don’t want to deal with it right now, I just want to do school and succeed. Why is this happening now? It’s f***ing unfair, it’s so dumb. I feel like I barely knew her, but every time I get drunk, I get wildly emotional and end up running through town barefoot. Hooooly s***, I’m nucking futs.
I love my boyfriend and want his babies in my belly right now. Well not now, that’s irresponsible, but I want want want them.