It’s been about six years since my last relationship and it was one of the worst experiences of my life to say the least. I didn’t really get with anyone because I decided to protect my mental peace and wait (not that I had any other options💀) . Anyway, fast forward to now- there’s this person in my class that I’m so infatuated with but we’ve never spoken. Now that I’m writing it down and reading it from a third person perspective.. I sound mad…I’m literally just in my very early twenties but I’m acting like a teenager and the more I’m going into detail the more ridiculous I’m beginning to sound to myself. I didn’t see this person for a long time so I forgot about them, I mean we’ve literally never spoken all there existed was eye contact. Oh god I’m literally CRINGING AT THIS. Can’t believe this is what my life has come to now. If you’re wondering yes I only have 2 friends.
Anyway, I saw this person after a month and a half today and I could feel them staring at me, or perhaps I just have an overactive imagination, regardless, all that infatuation unfortunately came rushing back 🙁
I don’t understand, either they come and speak to me or I stop getting affected by this. I don’t like this ‘grey area’ feeling, it’s been too long and I’m too old to bAsK iN it’S gLoRy like it’s legit irritating me now. There’s no way to speak to them either because our friend groups are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, even I muster up the courage and go say hi, what next? I obviously can’t be like ‘lets get coffee ☺️’. Like I just want to stop thinking about them or get even remotely affected by their presence. Think I need to stop reading intense fantasy romance books it’s f***ing my brain chemistry lol. UGH. Anyway I guess it’s best I drop this bs, especially after reading this again I feel highkey stupid, this is not me.