Today's date is Feburary 06, 2022 Sunday. Today feels different not in a god way. id on't know whats wrong with me. I dont feel like myself anymore. I dont know why. I feel nothing. There's this one boy who's name is Ryan, Ryan Adam. He's my love. My person, my home. I blame myself for a lot of things. I love his so much but I dont know whats going on with me. If he makes me happy why am i not feeling happy. Today me and my mom and brother were heading to kagman. We stopped by a store and well I boght his favorite snacks and ate it. I thought of him. I dont get it. How do you know you love someone. I feel bad because Im so confuse and I dont know how to explain it to him because then hes going to blame himself for it. I need him I want him. Im struggling mahn. I haven't told my parents yet and its so hard for me. I told my mom but not my dad. The thing is im just scared and I wanna tell him because i don't wanna be to late. Ughh I hate myself guys. 🙁 Why? What's wrong with me. What?? WHyy? God please I don't know what to do. Please help me. I'm sorry for how bad of a human i am. i promise that I actually am trying to better myself. This boy R hes so special and deserves the world. I don't feel enough for him its not his faullt its mine.
-K.M.