,

If I could help you all I would. I wish to give happiness and nothing more, but like everyone I am flawed and worn by the world. What I imagine cannot always be done but I will do my best and try over and over to make it, think about it in some other way… to make it work. The ideals pushed upon me I know I can never reach and this too wears me down. Do I disappoint them or be what they want. For so long I lived in darkness feeling helpless and wasted, wasted by everyone around, to the point of numbness. But I realized it’s not them, it’s also me. I do have power, I do have hope, I just need to change perspective. That imagination I’d hide in what if I use it, use it to create a life I feel is worth living. To stop being a martyr a victim and create. Remember what I am to the core and build it up, to live again. To be real again, to use my abilities and not let everything waste away. To not solely live for others and their wants but to be okay on my own.

I opened up to the world and found good.

And if I can’t help you all that’s okay, to all the broken and broken-hearted I wish joy and passion. Knowing I am limited in my ability to help I’ll try to help those nearby, to make them smile, to help them learn new worlds. But I learned that I must watch out for myself because once you’re out of the darkness you don’t stay out and old habits quickly slither their way back, so if I appear selfish if I seem hopeless I don’t care, I must help myself.