I've always wanted to go to another country when I grew up. I couldn't go when I graduated high school, so I made myself a promise that I'd for sure go when I graduate college. I have one year left to complete my undergrad, and the really hard and difficult reality is on the verge of making me lose myself. I don't think my parents can afford to send me abroad. Too much money was spent so my sister could go. And now that my parents are switching jobs, we literally can't afford to make mistakes. Sometimes when I entertain the idea of destiny; it makes me think if I'm only destined to achieve lesser than my goals. This is heavy on my head. I just wanted to leave since day one of my f***iny life. Never liked one place for too long. I had to keep moving and going farther and farther away. Evidently I haven't changed. But this want is so close to my being that if I don't get it – I might shatter a part of me which dreamt. I can't afford to lose it. I'm sad because so many of us don't get to see our dreams play out. I'm sad because I have a gloomy feeling that I'll just be stuck being cowardly. I don't like it.