Okay!so how should i start this i literally just searched where should i able to write my heart out and it brought me here.
I am really pissed off with what my destiny has landed me to i am 19 a fat indian girl who has not been able to crack a medical exam even after taking an year drop.
I have given up on me now I literally dont know what should i do next. My parents are sad my relatives and friends dont give any f***s to it. Everybody is just scolding me for not studying sincerely and asking me why i failed.. And u know what i really dont have any answer i don't want to think about it as i know i tried my level best but I still failed. I just blame my destiny for it i am such a loser i cant even accept my failure.. I was never a loser before but once i changed my school and got this s***ty phone my luck just got changed somehow i might sound stupid but its true. I was so into boys and all and ended up screwing my 11th and 12th std result although it was not that bad but for me who was 10th std topper in school 89% was very less
I gave my medical exam that year and i not even scored half the total score i begged my parents for one last chance and i screwed it as well.. I hate myself now.. I just want to die.. I cant even show my face to people now.. I just feel ashamed
My parents are ready to give me one ladt chance but i have just given up.. Please god if u r listening plss help me out if u could gift me a college even in last counselling round.. I wont complaint i would never again..
But i can sense god also has given up on me i have broke his trust not once but thousand times
Please if u could just forgive me for one last time i would never disappoint u please hrlp me suggest me ways to improve me
I know i am dumb but i assure i will change for best.
Please help i beg you!!