I am constantly feeling depressed and alone. My mother had me and my sister at a young age and my biological father was taken out of the picture due to his abuse. She did her best and I respect my mother or at least I did. She got remarried and had my two younger siblings. My older sister and I both agree that we're treated far different than them and I grew up always believing it was because we weren't my step-dad's kids. She loves us I'm sure but nowadays, I am treated with scorn and tossed to the side. I am nineteen but my life is controlled. No boyfriend, college only and don't talk back. I have to hide my relationship that they knew of before. My parents' didn't want me dating an atheist and having sex outside of marriage with a man who "has no morals being an atheist". Since last year, I've been called a whore basically and constantly degraded as lazy, selfish, incompetent, and dramatic. I cannot stand being in this house but my boyfriend lives too far away for me to afford living with him and drive to my college when needed. i was ok for awhile. I found a way to manage my life to where I could be somewhat happy… but now I am spiraling back into my suicidal mindset from last fall. I need to get out but I can't. My parents don't think I'm being treated unfairly or wrong at all. I don't want to do this anymore