I cant believe my life turned out to be this way. For someone who sees me Im happy picture perfect family. But its not the same inside. Im empty I have no love no close friends or family to talk. I have no one. I feel alone most of the time. The only person I trusted was my husband. He broke my trust things have never been the same since then. He doesn't regret his mistake and I cant forget. He dosent think of me he does things to only pleasure himself. He doesnt think about the kids. The kids are all my responsibility. I feel Traped. I cant breath. His drinking is a another issue I face. When he drinks Im afraid of what he will do. He becomes uncontrollable. I dont trust him. I cant devrose him either. cos I want the kids to have him. Death is my only salvation. But Im Afraid to leave the kids. They wont survive without me and he will not give them any priority. Dont know what to do. Its not fair that life treats me this way. I have always thought of other people and their mental wellbeing. I have not responded to somethings that happened and I have kept quite in some instances just to keep them away from hurt.I have thought of people in financial sturggles and helped them out. But no one things of me I cant breath. I need help from someone anyone to tell that I matter. I deserve a better life.I should not live this way. I dont know why Im here I cant breath.Things need to change. Im hoping my husband will have a change of heart. I hope he will not be selfish as he is now. Even if he doesnt love me its ok atleast respect me. He is the main reason I hate my life he is the reason for my misary. I hope he changes or I want my life to end. I need to escape. Escape in to some place no one can hurt me. Someplace I cant feel pain no more. Please end my pain.I cant breath anymore