I talk about a lot of nonsense garbage that I wasn't even interested in saying almost as if I couldn't control my mouth and the mundane sounds it was making.AS you know people can always tell when you fake the funk, its the small unconscious things that tell you what to do next. I can see it whenever I speak nonsense how there attention glazes over and I feel off and I can't tell why. I'm always watching to act on things and I never take any initiave in life. Because I know the result and just let it happen. I'm afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes cost and there's no reset point. Its almost as if I was in idle mode and life happened to me and I'm not reacting to it just blatantly taking whatever outcome happens to occur.