I struggle with hatred on a profound level. I have to call the boss in the morning for fear of being fired do to no fault of my own and the morning is a long ways off. I don't really want to go into the details but the crisis line has already gotten two phone calls from me. I hope to leave them alone for now. I am exhausted from my day. I already explained why I was so upset to my neighbor. My poor pet bird has to listen to me go on and on but I do do my best to make it up to her. My hatred is about all of us. I just can't figure out why we can't do better. You would think we could. I know this George Floyd tragedy has got everybody upset but getting fired seems to seem more important to me in the moment especially when I don't think I deserve it.