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I can’t shut it off

I want him and I just wish he would use that to his ability. I want him to take me in his arms and ask me "how bad do you want me?". With a quivering body say "I want you to the point it f***ing hurts." I want him to hold, to be between my legs, just to be around. I know he doesn't feel the same.I don't want my spouse to touch me, it's getting that bad. At night, he's all I want to be next to. I just want him and it is horrible. I thought I saw him today, so I tried not to look. I'm not quite sure what to do at this point. I just want to be alone to wallow in my misery. I feel so pathetic. I will get past.

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