December 18, 2019
12:59 AM
Imagine myself saying something to my parents to cause them to alert the security forces about a possible suicide. Meanwhile I try to jump into the subway rail tracks. Then I get stopped.
I have imaginations similar to these everytime. Sometimes jumping in and and somehow surviving. Then getting adopted by someone else into Canada and getting better care while I bounceback academically.
Almost as if I'm hoping for help. Or maybe I'm just looking for attention because I'm a failure.