Questioning if love is real made the chest ache. Love a word that so many believe in and put high up on their priorities to find.
Knowing now love may be only in the movies she wanted something else. She wanted to be with someone that focused on her. Not only body, but all of her. Someone that takes their time and only focuses to please her. Please as in multiple orgasms.
What she did know is that the feelings attached to moments shared between two people are real. The spark when they first make eye contact and they find each other attractive. How exciting it is in those initial conversations. Leading up to the first date and feeling anxious and hungry for their touch. From the first kisses to fornicating, it's all a rush.
There is a very real fear that comes with these feelings, for starters, one could get pregnant, could get an STI/STD, and what if they don't want you afterwards.
She wanted lust, but knowing there were far too many consequences to real actions she didn't go looking.