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I ruined my life

When I was little, I would hide who I truly am because I was wrong. Now that I'm older, no one believes me, no one helped me figure it out, I was forced to hide everything from everyone. My dad screams at me when I'm having an anxiety attack because I'm so happy all the time, no one would know. I can't figure out myself without out trying things out (clothing styles, hair cut, etc), and since I'm a minor that's impossible without telling people. I will probably kill myself before 20. I hope he's happy when he hears that, knowing he ruined my life.

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