Its late i`m tired i have no idea what to do think feel be. I am totally lost tonight. I feel nervous and full of anxiety. There is sod all on the TV i don`t even know what to do online here. Everything feels like a chore even watching porn and playing with my little carrot feels like too much effort. Eating is a job. I just need something worthwhile to occupy my time and i have nothing. I just look aimlessly into space and then glance at my bookshelf. Forty odd books stare back at me. I feel numb totally and completely. Hollow with nothing inside. I just gorged a packet of popcorn. It feels like a garbage tip in my stomach right now.
Maybe this is depression. Lack of clean air and sunlight. I could probably pass for a zombie right now in night of the living dead. Its how i feel. I cannot concentrate properly to read or focus. I could probably read fear and loathing in Las Vegas because that`s as messed up as i feel right now. When you are a bit messed up that book will be on your level.