Once a year on Halloween
Kids and adults dress in costumes and masks.
They have their fun pretending to be something different than they aught to be
At the end of the night they head back home
Costumes and masks are taken off
And they return to their true selves.
On these days, I did not wear a costume
However a mask was always in place
What makes this mask different from the rest
Is its invisibility
No one knows the real me
The mask has become a part of me
I was not born with this mask
Nor was it apparent for many years
I found it mid-childhood
When I lost what no child should
A delight in life and the abundance of energy that gives a child life
An inner flame that started to shake
From a lack of energy and an inner pain
Eventually the flame went out
A mask was dawned to hide this fact
And is now a part of me
It is said that you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer
The mask I wear is both my best friend and my worst enemy.
The mask allows me to pretend I am happy
To hide the fact that I have no energy
To not let anyone see how alone I truly am
The flip side being that no one knows the real me
If I hide my real needs and feelings
How are others to know how to support me?
Without this mask, people will see right through me
To my isolation and inner insecurities