As I am typing letters, I want to say that I didn't deserve to live since the beginning. I am total waste of time and I cover a lot of space in this life for no reason. I am in a dark hole and I can't get out. I've tried everything and none of things that I've tired had helped me. No one likes me and loves me. I am so hopeless and in a big pain. There is no cure to my existential crisis.