I don't understand what the hell I'm feeling. Or what the hell he feels. He makes me feel all flustered and happy. I'm always smiling when I'm with him. But, when I'm not with him I feel… sad? Depressed? I feel empty. He's doesn't hang out with me much. But when he does, he always teasing and arguing with me. He always finds a way to talk to me. He always finds a way to touch me it seems. But does he like me? He hangs out with other people. why does he not leave me alone? Why does he make me feel all weird? Why does he always make me smile? Why does he make me feel sad? Why does he make me feel jealous? This Friday, I was playing secret Santa and the person I got didn't come. He asked me if he could see what I got her. I showed him and he asked me if he can have it. The present. He told me if she didn't come then could he have it since I won't have anyone to give it too. I said maybe. He sat next to me and started talking to me when I was sitting alone. He made me smile and feel happy. I was going to give it to him but then he left early. I felt… sad. I felt worried and confused. I don't understand how I went from feeling happy to feeling like someone punched me in the gut. I probably won't see him in 2 weeks since I'm on winter break. But, I really want to see him again. He's always on my mind and I don't understand what the hell he really means to me. I don't know what he feels about me. Lately, I realized how kind and teasing he is. He even asks for my opinion on little things he does. when he saw that I really liked to draw he began to draw too. He would look at my drawings and smile at them and say his drawings are better. But now that I'm not with him… I feel empty. I really want to know what he feels about me. I want to know if he fees the same way I feel about him.