For 1.5 years now, I've performed terribly academically.
My whole life have been a social disasters. While I'm finding it impossible to study. After doing all the porn and internet and even dumping away my gadgets, I still can't study or even find the will to. Eve if I have a test the next day. Funnily,I can't tell my guardians or they'll freak out. I can't tell anyone because they can't help.
I'm constantly thinking about how great it'll be if I can just cease to exist. For now, I'm being restricted by the pain (and maybe religious idea of hell) of all suicide means I can think of. But, I hope to be able to do it soon. This life sucks. I'm born without consent into a world with so much intellectual challenges and then expected to cope with it anyway. F*** You! I didn't ask you to give birth to me (or create me).