Ever felt like its too hard to tell someone your feelings so you write it down? Yeah, thats me. I feel so lonely all the time. I feel numb, sad, even mad. I laugh, I smile, but not for long. Deep down I know Im not happy. Im not anything. I messed up my life by getting expelled from school, I also have no more friends. My sister's friends are nice to me. But others, give me looks. Sometimes, I want to die. I know what you're thinking "dont kill yourself!" its not like Im planning on it. I just wonder what'd it be like if I did. Would my family be sad? Happy? Mad? No clue. Sometimes when I reflect back on my life I start crying. It hurts more then i'd ever imagine. Whenever my dad talks to me I start crying. I dont know why. Im usually tough but emotionally Im unstable. I cant seem to balance my emotions amymore. I dont even sleep at night. I eat one time a day. I just want to disappear.