Dear AC,
Life with you sure has been good. You've been really supportive about the things i do and the things i want to do. For that, i am forever grateful for you. Things were always "great" between us. We've weathered nasty fights and fought against our pasts demons. We always came out stronger together. We've always made it.
I've been the happiest with you. And you told me you felt the same.
You even shared with me your big plans for us. I couldn't be more thrilled to see my future standing right before my eyes. And i believed that for a really long time. It feels so real.
But.
Lately, i've started to see the things i didn't before. The cracks and the faults of us. We've been too reluctant to even bother ourselves to fix them. You don't know this yet….but we're falling apart.
I realized- you're not the person i can tell everything to.
and here are the reasons:
1. I'm too afraid to share my sadness and deep thoughts with you. I know you can't handle them, i've taken mental notes not to bring them up when we're together. So you always thought i was happy with you.
2. You don't feel comfortable enough to share with me your troubles. you always told me that you only want to keep me happy, so you keep your burdens away from me. You keep our problems away from me. You've convinced yourself that you'll keep me happy that way.
3. We don't connect as much anymore. we speak so little because we're busy enjoying our lives. We only talk to each other to share stories of how good the day went. Yknow? all that sunshine and sugar. We don't talk about real life anymore. Not like we used to.
I'm slowly drifting away from you. You don't even know. I haven't had the courage to tell you yet. But i feel it'll be soon.
But whatever happens, I will always care for you and i will always support you in whatever good thing you have in store for yourself in the future.
I just don't know if i still see myself in it anymore.
this isn't goodbye. It's the start of the storm.
xN