I walk into my house and all my energy is drained from me. I always have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It is like pain exploding through out me. I get sad and angry but I never get happy. Why cant I be happy. I have an irrational fear of being alone my whole life. My thoughts are dark and depressing. I do have some close friends but they don't understand what I'm going through. I feel like crying every second of the day and they joke about how they cry themselves to sleep. I go some nights with no sleep at all because I don't want to dream about something that will never happen in real life. All the perfect couples and I'm lonely. Every day I get up, I feel drained and ready to pass out somewhere and never wake up. My fake smile fools the ones around me and no one seems to notice because they are to worried about themselves. I don't care about the attention. its just annoying sometime to know you have no one to lean on. I do so much for every body else but they are never grateful. I don't cry in public because people will think I'm an attention seeker, especially in high school. sometimes the devastating emptiness I feel wont go away and sometimes it will but only for a little. usually when I'm by myself my thoughts run wild and the emptiness grows. how do I get rid of the emptiness?