i used to t stsay i run now. it's not that i don't wanna stay and i am not scared to go when it's time to leave. it's the idea that two people can't stay in teh same room, or one's there but not really there. the quality of that scares me. because we don't know. we never know. and no matter how much we try to fortell the future or plan for it, train for it, we will alwalsy be challenged.
maybe it was going too fast, i think to myself. maybe, it was myraid of things, but thouoghts of the latter make me feel uncomfortbale, that there is outside force that's going to determine my fate. it's unsettling to think that. so i'd rather take the responsibility of the action made
there is thoughts within myself too, some too much, others overpowering to a halt. i wonder if ths is normal. or a way or signal to show the level of trust instead. like symbols. the trust is in me or is in you. that' i don't know.
maybe some fear the actionless living. others like the quality of the connection. the depth of it. was it is it there. i think so. in my head atleast i am connected to the divine universal being that speaks to me daily.
that should be enough, so i can sum it up to myself. my own fears instead. the way i run with webbed feet. and fall on my face at each time a melody take sme back in time again. i lik ethat way of the understanding.
but i am not ready to be happy just yet.