Today in therapy I managed the courage to talk about events that happened between january 2010 and june 2010 where I was in a degrading destructive "relationship" where I was both neglected and degraded. Used for sexual activity against MY will, I want to scream…. I want him to die.
It has affected my whole life ever since and caused me a great deal of pain. I use to be a fun person to be around always joking and smiling. The things that happened has put my life on hold and caused me nightmares, great anxiety problems and depression/hopelessness and destructive tendencies.
Today I finaly started talking about, opening up the horrible box of pain. My anxiety went up, my body became ignited and red.
It was the first step and I hope that I will feel like myself again after the treatment is over. By 2018 I want to be shining inside again.