Site icon Somewhere To Write

Masked Emotions

Whenever I’m around her, I have to put on a mask. I have to act like a person that only feels emotions like happiness, calm, etc. The second I show a small amout of emotion, like sadness or anger, she’ll yell at me. For example, I recently was very stressed with a work deadline, and she overheard me talking about it to my friends on the phone. She actually made me hang up on my friends so she could yell at me, and tell me how I’m such an ungrateful brat that doesn’t deserve anything in life. And it’s pointless to try and reason with her; she’ll only fire more insults at me. I remember when in the past she screamed at me for expressing sadness at the loss of a friend of mine. When she finished chewing me out, I just stepped into a different room and started to silently cry. Silently. Yes, I actually have to hold back sobs in case she hears me. And though it’s been happening for years, only recently did it start to effect my depression. Only by writing can I truly speak. Why she even lashes out on me for showing normal human emotions, I don’t even know.

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