You know that moment, where you finally find a fix? And it works, and everything is good. But, you feel dulled and a shell of who you once were. So, you stop taking the medication, and at first, you're doing great without it. You're creative, but can focus and stay on task. But day by day, it's getting worse. And life feels like a downward spiral. You start failing classes because you can think long enough to get any work done. Everything is distracting, and you know going back on medication would fix it, but… when you were on medication, you were rapidly loosing weight and couldn't gain it back, you had no appetite, you woke up every morning at three and couldn't fall back asleep, people thought you we emotionless because the medication dulled your brain. I can't go back to that. I feel helpless and lost because I can't do anything to keep myself on track. And the only fix feels like a curse.